Important new emoticons (McSweeneys)

• BY MIRA PTACIN AND SETH FRIED
• - - - -
• +: ) Ash Wednesday
• +; ) Flirty Ash Wednesday
• : F Bored snake
• [>: ( Fire bad
• [I: I Ice neither good nor bad; me ambivalent
• ,: " I Attacked by cat
• : %I Lowering glasses to see if you’re serious
• ;%) Lowering glasses to see if you’re feeling what I’m feeling
• : >>q Accidentally spraying self in eye with mace
• O0o No one in my family has any response to what you just said
• <: # Hitler birthday party
• <;# Flirty Hitler birthday party
• X;<) Flirty triceratops
• X,<) Flirty triceratops cyclops
• P Soup ladle
• ;P Flirty soup ladle
• }: I Wolverine
• {: I Frida Kahlo
• @: I Combover
• : o) Bear missing ears
• : ^ u Abject horror
• ;^ u Flirty abject horror
• : i Cold sore
• ; i Flirty cold sore
• ent
• ,: " I Attacked by cat
• : %I Lowering glasses to see if you’re serious
• ;%) Lowering glasses to see if you’re feeling what I’m feeling
• : >>q Accidentally spraying self in eye with mace
• O0o No one in my family has any response to what you just said
• <: # Hitler birthday party
• <;# Flirty Hitler birthday party
• X;<) Flirty triceratops
• X,<) Flirty triceratops cyclops
• P Soup ladle
• ;P Flirty soup ladle
• }: I Wolverine
• {: I Frida Kahlo
• @: I Combover
• : o) Bear missing ears
• : ^ u Abject horror
• ;^ u Flirty abject horror
• : i Cold sore
• ; i Flirty cold sore